My Yoga Present to Myself: Sukhava Bodhe 2015

My planning for my 50th birthday retreat seemed to go on forever, but my trans-formative weekend went by in a flash. Planning is one thing, but the experience is something completely different. What surprised me was my full immersion in the weekend. So much of my planning time was spent worrying about being away from my family. My kids would tell you that they were thrilled I was leaving! This left them the entire weekend to do guy things. Had I allowed myself to really think on that, it may have stung, but I know that they, too, need time, just like me, to rejuvenate, explore, and just have fun.

Our cozy yurt

This is exactly what I got. My retreat, Sukhava Bodhe, was amazing. The yurt my friend Jen Vincent and I stayed in was delightfully cozy: right smack-dab in the middle of the festival. We had people stop by and talk with us, and a couple of people even sat and shared food with us. The atmosphere was one of complete trust with all of the people there. I have never experienced so much of that concentrated in one place before! We were asked to trust the practice of yoga, each other, our space, and we didn't even have a key to our yurt. I was assured that the people at the retreat were all good/trustworthy people. Jen and I even left our windows open when we slept. Anyone could have peeked in, but I doubt there was enough light to see us tucked in and snoozing. Truly this comfort and trust was remarkable for me. What I found out about myself surprised me. I had anticipated becoming completely altered after this retreat, and that frightened me, but I had a wonderful conversation with an instructor (one of the people that stopped by and shared watermelon I had on our picnic table) that changed my thinking about this. He said roughly this: Yoga doesn't necessarily have to change you, it allows you to release and let go of all the accumulated stuff that sits in our bodies and minds. How right he was. And the pictures below illustrate this concept perfectly for me. My yoga practice looked very different compared to those pictures below. I have used words in my discussions with people about my body's limitations. No longer! I used those words with an instructor saying, "My knees won't do that." Her response, "Not yet!" How true. I learned that my mind can be my biggest enemy or my greatest gift. I learned to trust that a base can hold me up. That I can hold up a flyer! Even a 190 lb. one! I learned that I can do an inversion. While I haven't (yet) stuck a handstand without assistance, I will. I will. I experienced Kundalini yoga for the first time. What an experience that was. I had what some might refer to as a Kundalini awakening. It was a bit frightening, but I was assured this is perfectly natural and expected in the beginning. I have now begun to incorporate some of the Kundalini teachings into my own practice. Little by little, starting my 50th decade (November), I'm filled with hope and excitement for more trans-formative experiences. I am open to what is coming my way. AND I just may return to Sukhava Bodhe next Labor Day weekend. Who knows? I'm keeping my options open!

Jen and me

Me as a flyer

Ready for lift off

Great stretch...

Flying again with a wonderful base

Jen taking Paddle board Yoga (SUPyo)

Getting ready to go into supported handstand...didn't quite make it!

Me as a base

Me as a base

We were without an instructor, so we just played

Me flying in throne...Now this was exciting!

Slacklining...this was fun!

Power Yoga

I just returned today from a fabulous yoga class: Power Yoga at my local YMCA. The beautifully fit instructor, Liz, had us set up poolside to do our yoga practice. To be honest, I grumbled inside when I heard that we were going to be on the pool deck. I've never been one to introduce extra heat to my yoga practice, and I actually felt like fate was working against me (or working to my benefit, as I found out later).

We started with a quiet, grounding mountain pose, then very slowly started building heat in our bodies by doing a number of sun salutations. My muscles perked up and took notice! She then took us through a more fluid, vinyasa style yoga practice. About a third of the way through the class, I was sweating--sweating even more than when I attend my Zumba class! Maybe these hot yoga teachers are on to something! (I'm still reserving judgment, however!) I was amazed at her gentle, but focused approach. She gave quiet encouragement, and beautifully re-positioned students to get the most out of the pose.

Toward the end of class, she said something when we were in a reclining twist that just hit me right between the eyes! "We are as young as our movable spines. Take care of your backs." And yes, isn't that the crux of all yoga practices? Being mindful of our bodies (especially our spines and backs) so that we can keep them malleable in order to reduce injury.

I was amazed at how good I felt after the rejuvenating practice, especially since this weekend my body decided to have another flare up. No fun, and Jeff even questioned my decision to go to yoga. But honestly, I believe the moving and strengthening got to the center of my muscles and just made them respond lovingly. I will definitely be adding this class to my exercise repertoire! Namaste.

Four Months Gluten Free!

I find it absolutely unbelievable that I've seen such benefit from becoming gluten free. The biggest plus, of course, is that my pain goes from non-existent to manageable. I have not had a huge flare up for over four weeks, even with gardening! That is just huge.

What it makes me wonder is how much of our diets affect who we are, how we feel, how we behave, and how we view the world around us. I have found that the world looks a bit brighter, even on bad days, than it did four months ago when I was in the throes of unmanageable pain. The medication that I take for managing my pain has decreased, and my hope is that the longer I'm on this diet, I will be able to cut it out of my life once and for all.

I look at the future with rose-colored glasses when I feel this good, which worries my hubby, since I crash when I have a flare-up. But I do believe with a positive attitude, my need for medication will be a thing of the past. (Jeff, if you're reading this: Don't worry, I'll take my medication so that I'm nice to be around!)

The only thing I miss on occasion is being able to go to a restaurant and order anything off the regular menu without a thought of what I'm putting in my body. I guess the up-side of this is that I am practicing being more mindful which of course brings me back to the present.

Note to everyone who is reading this: Please know I don't live this positively all the time , but it is my intention to catch myself when my mind goes in a bad neighborhood without backup, so I can calmly bring myself back to center and focus what is around me. I hope you all are taking the time to enjoy October and the beautiful leaves and their brilliance of colors. Namaste.

Compartmentalizing Feelings

It seems that when I have time to blog, I go on a frenzy and blog all the time. But since school started up again, my teaching job and home responsibilities of course have become my priority. So I finally decided that I needed to blog about different parts of my life that are separate, but also make up who I am. Who we all are.

More often than not, I have not been able to compartmentalize my life: Family, work, friends, etc... If one area of my life was off, my entire being would be down the toilet. But yoga has helped me to be able to differentiate what is important at the current time: my family, my friends, my work, and my alone time. If one area is suffering, I try to remember that the people I am with at the moment (including myself) are the most important people in that given time and space. To not devote my all to those people would be cheating myself out of a wonderful experience. Each person that comes into my life has been put there for a reason. I do not believe in coincidences or accidents. The good and bad all have a purpose. How we choose to deal with each situation is up to us.

Again, I bring this all back to yoga. When I find myself in the middle of a maelstrom inside my head, I have to physically stop myself and breathe--and to do it well, I need to find a quiet place to close my eyes and breathe in healing energy, then as I exhale, remove all the negative thoughts and the weights that are on my shoulders. This mindfulness is vital if I am to stay centered within my day. Mantra for the day:  I will enjoy every encounter I have today and be present with all of my being. Namaste.