It's Been Three Years

Life happens and we roll along--sometimes smelling the roses, other times just getting by. Today as I'm writing this, I'm reflecting on all that has occurred in the past three years. The list is long. At this time in my life, I have two kids in college, but amazingly, we are financially sound. 

Following the pandemic, I realized, as I think many of us did, how much we do have even when we are stripped of so much. Jeff and I were talking the other day about how we slowed down during that time and took walks nearly every day. I find that I connect so much more to myself when I am outdoors. I have continued with riding lessons, though I've yet to jump (hoping before I turn 60!) My connection to the horses has deepened. They recognize me immediately now, and our energies seem to jive. Apples and banana offerings don't hurt either. 

Jeff and I are learning what it will be like to be empty nesters. We are not completely there, but have had months without one boy or another with us. I think we will do OK. It helps that we like each other a great deal! 

Self healing has been the theme these past three years. During this time my dad died, my mom had emergency surgery, I had a full knee replacement, and Jeff's dad died. So much has happened and my heart has been on auto pilot. I've begun doing energy work on my chakras and sitting in meditation much more these past three years. The heart chakra is a tricky one. There is a sense of vulnerability when releasing pent-up trauma. Somehow the heart gets stuck. I'm learning that when sadness comes full-force, that my heart is ready to release. I'm feeling better. 

My wishes are we can heal as individuals, as a nation and as a world. Things are changing--there's no doubt. What a gift it is to notice these changes and to play a part in moving our world toward enlightenment.

Just a Moment in Time

So today I've been pacing. It's too hot to garden or take a walk, my house is already clean, I've been making jewelry (mostly earring and rings) I may never wear, and I'm about to go out of my mind.

A friend of mine contacted me yesterday with the prospect of going to a lake this weekend to reconnect. It has been years since we've seen each other. I said yes immediately. Our world has changed so dramatically. I am amazed and a bit chagrined at how much I have taken for granted. Conversations on the sidewalk with total strangers (with a least 6 feet distance between us) is so very welcomed. I miss all the little things: giving hugs when I see friends while I'm out shopping, trading Reiki treatments with friends and other Reiki Masters, and I miss stopping out at my favorite Mexican restaurant for chips and margaritas. (Though I was very grateful to my friends, Jan and Dave, for agreeing to meet for dinner al fresco.)

What this time has given to me is a sense of deeper connection with my family and online community. Thank goodness my kids still live at home. It would have been heartbreaking not to see them during the months of shelter-in-place. I feel for those who have children who do not live at home with their families. That must be so hard. And the elderly. I understand the reasons of keeping away from those who may have compromised immune systems, but I also think of the emotional pain these people must be feeling by not seeing family and friends. So I am very blessed and have to remind myself that the scenario could be different.

I have continued to take horseback riding lessons (with a two-month hiatus from March-May). The horses I ride give me such therapeutic benefits to my psyche. If you have ever considered taking up the sport, I highly recommend it. Winston Churchill said, “There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.” No truer words were ever spoken about being with a horse. I have also started Facebook live events for meditation. I'm not sure who this is better for: my audience or me. This gives me an hour each week to really explore my breath and take stock of where I'm at right now. I feel relaxed and refreshed at the same time.

I think I need to take my own advice and allow myself permission to be a bit stir-crazy without judging myself. Sitting at the computer and doing my budget brought me to my blog...there is a connection, I promise. Just sitting here and hammering this out has done me good. I hope you all have bright spots in your day and are able to look at the benefits this year has brought to all of us. You may have to dig deep, but I assure you, they are there. 

Then and Now

I found this post in my draft folder...I've dusted it off and added a post script. Life got busy, and I put this aside. Frankly, I'd forgotten I had started this...

Then...

This has been an eventful year to say the least. All the excitement I had in Europe with my sister, Becky, in March of 2016 still hasn't been completely chronicled in my blog...(My muse seems to be on hiatus.) My focus for 2017 was to dive head-first into my dream of becoming a yoga teacher. With a lot of hard work and dedication, I have now completed my 200-Level Yoga Teacher Training. While I am pleased to have this training under my belt, this is only the tip of the iceberg. There was a question at the end of the final exam that asked: Do you feel you are ready to teach? My obvious, knee-jerk answer was, Yes! But after giving it some thought I wrote "Yes and no".

What I have found with teaching yoga is that each person comes with different wants, needs, and abilities. Each time I feel I've nailed a posture and how to teach it, a student comes along who challenges that notion. To clarify: I put yes down on my exam because I have the desire and need to teach. I crave working with beginners who often say they can't do yoga because they are inflexible, too heavy, they have arthritis or chronic pain (the list goes on). I love it when students come up to me after class and say they had no idea yoga would make them feel this way. And I answered no because I am a student first and foremost. I do not always have the answers...more often than not I don't. But what I can do is teach students to listen to their bodies, focus on their breathing, pay attention to feelings that come up without attaching meaning to them, and for an hour or so, cultivate peace within.

A yoga teacher of mine runs workshops on creating vision boards. I have yet to take her class, but the idea of a vision board is intriguing. I have a hodge-podge of ideas, mostly surrounding my home and yoga career. I envision a modest home with enough space for my husband to have an office for his medical transcription and I would like a dedicated yoga room where I can teach. Of course, my home would need to have enough yard space to have vegetable and flower gardens. In my mind's eye I can see a therapy room off of my yoga studio with a large enough closet to store all the props I would need. One wall of my studio would have a ropes wall.

And now...

My yoga career has turned into something I hadn't envisioned when I started my yoga teacher training in 2017. When I started at Temple Yoga I hadn't seen myself as a Reiki teacher, but I'm finding this part of my practice invigorating and fulfilling. Since becoming a Reiki Master in 2000, I used it only on myself, my friends, cats, and my kids. I used it to help my family (furry included) and friends find relief or relaxation. I would do my best to explain how it worked, but always came up short explaining it properly. When Jenna, Temple Yoga's owner, nudged me to start teaching, it felt right. I have enjoyed every workshop I have given. What I love more than anything is to see students use Reiki and actually feel the energy flowing. Jenna also encouraged me to teach restorative yoga with Reiki. Reiki would be given to each student while they relaxed in a restorative yoga posture. My partner, Emily, and I (as well as a couple others who have assisted along the way) help each student to find peaceful bliss within the postures. Each time our class grows, it feels more and more like a pajama party.

I've become more open to the idea of new ventures and workshops with an ease I've never felt before. Just yesterday, I began taking riding lessons. My instructor is amazingly patient and encouraging. The horse is so gentle, yet strong. The opportunities that are coming in seem to be many. I am truly blessed.