The Gift of Yoga: Thoughts about my Upcoming Retreat

Labor Day weekend is coming. My planned yoga retreat is just around the corner, and I am filled with so many mixed emotions. This is the first time ever that I have given a present to myself on this scale. Celebrating my 50th year, I knew I had give myself a gift that supports my belief of the importance of self-care and healthy living. I had the idea of splurging most likely in 2013. The thoughts of turning 50 seemed daunting at the time, but if I chose to, I could celebrate rather than mourn my changing body and passing years. So I put it down in writing, maybe just to set an intention, or maybe just to remind myself that each year, each day offers us something new if we are willing to open our minds and hearts. Looking back at this post, Present to Myself, I can see that it did the trick. Setting that intention gave me the direction I needed to keep that dream alive.

The emotions I'm feeling seem to be normal, but I can't help compare myself to those who are able to give to themselves much easier than I am able to. My sister, for example, travels often for business and pleasure. She travels with her family and takes trips with her friends. I honestly don't know how she does it. The part of me who is excited about this retreat is also feeling guilty for giving myself this. While this is not necessarily an expensive trip, it is more than I am comfortable spending. I have saved for this, but I can't help wondering if this money would be better spent elsewhere...and that's when I stop myself.  A good friend of mine said something to me years ago that has stuck with me ever since. My oldest son was 9 months old at the time, and I had been having severe lower back pain. My doctor had ordered physical therapy, but I didn't want to be away from my son any longer than was necessary. My friend knew how I was struggling with the pain, and she said this: Two hours a week taking care of yourself will make you a better mother. You are doing your son no good when you are in pain. So how does this relate? This weekend has the potential to give my mind, body, and soul a rejuvenating lift to make me a better person all around. This link will take you to the festival. The line-up is quite impressive. Sukhava Bodhe Yoga Music Festival 

My Dream Yoga Retreat is almost here. I hope my enthusiasm will outweigh my guilty feelings of going. The connections I am sure to make both personally and socially are sure to have  a profound affect on me. I hope you all are enjoying life in your neck of the woods. Namaste.

Live Each Day as if it were Your Last!

Is it just the start of fall, the beginning of the school year, or the impending snow that inevitably gets me into a funk every year? I have seen this occur with many of my friends, so I do think the seasonal variations definitely have something to do with it.

This is my 22nd year of teaching. I can't believe it. Where has the time gone? And I feel this itch that I need to be doing something a bit different. I said to Jeff, "I wish being a yoga teacher paid as well as a public school teacher." Because quite honestly, I'd get my yoga certification in a heart beat.

But honestly, what is keeping me from getting it now? Most likely the cost factor. I have looked at the 200 hour courses and it seems to me to be cost prohibitive at the moment. My heart is truly there...but, knowing what I do about mindfulness, I need to be present in my life right here, right now.

This past summer I attended a program offered through the Illinois Writing Project. It changed the way I view myself as a writer and how I teach my students to value their ideas and get them on paper. This also has gotten me to think of offering professional development to different school districts, but you know that thing--Money?! Seems that school districts, too, are hanging on to all they have, like me.

That great saying that says 'Live each day as if it were your last'. Not sure I have the energy to do that. But here's what I'd do:

• I'd practice yoga 1 1/2 hours a day in a beautiful, peaceful room in my house
• Take long walks with my family
• Watch funny movies often
• Go to all the yoga retreats I could find
• Explore all the exciting places in the U.S. with my family before my kids get too old to want to spend time with their parents
• Learning more crocheting techniques. I'm 1/3 of the way done with my first afghan and I crocheted my first mitten--albeit it could fit the Hulk!

The list could go on and on. Remembering to do this is completely another thing all together. And here's the thing I really need to remember. There will be good days, bad days, days in which you are grateful that the day is over, and days that you wish were more of. What I do know is this: there will always be change. It's how I choose to react to it that will determine my peace of mind. Namaste.

My Dream Yoga Retreat

I have been looking into treating myself to a yoga retreat for my 50th birthday. I haven't been too dedicated since I have a year and a half to plan it. But last week, I found the perfect place advertised in the May edition of Yoga Journal. Before I tell you about that, I have to share with you a fantasy about the future I've been having.

A basic-style yurt

When I retire, I have this vision of becoming a certified yoga instructor who works with people with chronic pain. As a chronic pain sufferer myself, I know the benefits of yoga and how it can calm down even the worst pain. So I was telling my husband about having a house with a large piece of land that I could turn into a yoga retreat. I would like to have 3-5 yurts on the land to accommodate up to 15 people. One of the yurts (the biggest one) would be a dedicated yoga studio. Of course we'd need enough capital to get this started, but again, this is just a dream, and if we have a windfall of sorts, this is what I'm going to do.

OK, now back to what I found in the Yoga Journal. They listed the best retreats they found, and you know? This one happens to be in my home state! But better than that, it is a place where you garden and learn to live organically and fully. AND they have tents or YURTS! Man! I just found the perfect spot when quite frankly, I wasn't looking. It just appeared, and now I know. This place, Stonehouse Farm in Paw Paw, IL is just amazing! Check it out! It is also very economical. I can't wait to spend the weekend or a few days more nourishing my body and soul. This place is definitely calling out to me.

Hope all you mothers out there were spoiled rotten on Mother's Day. I know this mother was. Namaste.

Present to Myself

On my 50th birthday, I'm going to give myself a gift: a yoga retreat. For a couple of years I have had fantasies of going on a yoga retreat all by myself. It's a fantasy that is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

While I love my alone time, I do not like being alone for extended periods; but if I am to be alone, home is where I want it to be. My sister sends me a plane ticket every year to visit her in Georgia--a place I love to visit, but if I'm to be honest with myself, fills me with longing for home. My home is my favorite place on Earth. The older I become, the harder it is for me to want to travel.

So why do I want to do this? I need to grow and move through my fears. I am not expecting that I will resolve these issues, but rather understand them better. Yoga has always been a safe place to explore my mind and body without judging.

Starting in January, I will be saving money so that when the time comes, I can pay for it outright. I've had my eye on a few retreats: California and New York retreats look enticing, but I think I'd rather stay within driving distance from my home. I have time, so no doubt I will choose the retreat that fits my needs at that time. I truly am looking forward to this. Namaste.