Acceptance can be a very difficult thing for me to practice. I’m a perfectionist by nature, and if I can not control my environment, it makes me uneasy. My body? Forgetaboutit! What I can control is what I put into my body, the yoga practice I do everyday, my thoughtful responses to stress, etc…What I have difficulty with is my body’s response to my chronic pain. Believe me, I have tried everything: prayer, meds, bargaining with God, meditation, and on and on.
But last night I had an epiphany! I may not be able to control my pain, but I can control my perspective of pain. I was reading Rod Stryker's book The Four Desires, when this realization came to me. Now I'm not sure what that new perspective is, but I have prayed that God will guide me to the new perspective.
On my way to work this morning, I felt so relaxed and happy. As I'm typing this, my back hurts, but it is not alarming me or causing me to take ibuprofen. I really don't care at this point what the new perspective is, but I trust I will be guided toward it in good time. I will be patient.
No comments:
Post a Comment